Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the bag.

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

what did the man say to his wife? I love you

your mom is so fat, she uses nutrisystem and other weight-loss systems to try to loose weight.

What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

Which does does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

What do you call a black man doing his taxes? A well respected member of society

What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

your face

What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

What do you call a feminist that believes that all women have just as many rights as men? Stupid.

whats brown and sticky a stick

Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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