how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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Why did the Soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin in the air.

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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Indians

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Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack.

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

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what do u call a man being beaten in the street the cops

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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why did the man die? Because he was robbing a bank and police used lethal weapons By- the duck

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How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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