What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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why did the woman commit suicide? because 2+2=4

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? What did the black guy say o the white guy

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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roy g biv

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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i don't hate you because your fat ...your fat because i hate you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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