What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

a man walks into the bar and say, OUCH!!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops