I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

Find the b dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

What do you call a black priest? Holy s***

how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

Womens rights.

Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

What does aaron eat for dinner Answer- Fat Finger HAHAHAHAHA

One muffin says to the other muffin "it sure is hot in here." the other muffin replies "you know, technically, we're not muffins because we're not done cooking yet."

whats worse than a dog biting you? two dogs biting you whats worse than that? the Holocaust whats worse than that three dog bites and one of them happens to have rabies

Son : daddy ,I got punished in school today. Dad :why? Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me saying -"At the end of this scale there is an idiot"..... I just asked "WHICH END ?.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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