Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar, it is then frightened and bucks a man in the chest. Animal control and an ambulance are promptly called. The horse is then taken to a stable, while the man is taken to the hospital where he later made a full recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did the pony say when it had a sore throat? A: "I have throat cancer and only have six weeks to live."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If Voldemort was gay who would be his partner? Happy potter

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue Join the bro army! BROFIST! http://www.youtube.com/user/PewDiePie :D

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What would Loiter Squad be if the characters were white? A show.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the little boy cry? He fell down the stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops