If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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What do you call your mum without an umbrella? Saturated Fat

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What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a blood test.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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1134

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2+2= 478

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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