Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hey Tim lets think of a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

thumb_up thumb_down -85

How's your mum? she's dead..

thumb_up thumb_down -113

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -153

What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops