What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

Hey how is your wife and my kids

A. Knock, Knock B. Come in

Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

A 2 lb ball and a 10 lb ball are dropped at the same time. Which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground first. Go ahead and try it. Go on. Now. If you are still reading you really want to know if anything else is going to happen. Well nothing exciting. Just a potato. 0 looks like a potato

Steve Jobs is alive.

you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

whats orange and cant talk? an orange

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

how did the girl die? she read all of your terrible anti-jokes.

Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

1912, the titanic sinks, 1913 ww1 starts, 1939, ww2 starts, 1954, the vietnam war starts, 90's, cold war. wow! the 20th century sucked.

Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

whats one plus one penis

"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

TWIX PAUSE!

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

Your mom is so fat, she had liposuction.

Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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