How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

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What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

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why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

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Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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What do you call an arabic man who sells bombs for a living? A business man.

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What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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What is Corey Jacobs favorite kind of sandwich? Big Jumbo Kahona Burger!

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Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a fried chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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roses are red violets are blue ur mom just died and u will 2

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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