What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

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why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

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justin bieber is a good singer april fools haha you thought hell had frozen over

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Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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What do you call an arabic man who sells bombs for a living? A business man.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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Turnabout: American study of the Japanese Stereotype man: Murican: Excuse me Mr Japanese. Jap: The answer is within the heart of battle.. Murican: Yes but I just want to ask you some few questions. Jap: You are disturbing my feng shui I must power of the mystical fireball of surge fist energy get... *uppercuts waterfall BECAUSE REASONS!* Murican: What? But this is a serious study! Jap: Sowwy I do nothe speeky the shamefull language of the engrish! Murican: But you just said... Sigh... Conclusion: Carpet bombing of Japan funding increased. "slap a Jap" commercial project from world war two reinstated for the safety of the American people. Experiment two: The study of a American man raised in Japan. Murican: Hello I wonder if... American raised in japan: GADOUKEN GADOUKEN GADOUKEN! ORA ORA! Murican: Dead/KO. American/Japan: FRAWRESS VICTOLY! Result: World war 3 GET!

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Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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