What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew. One's a tasty delicious snack and the other one's a pizza.

A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

what is differnt about a boyscout and a jew? the boyscout comes back from camp

a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

A penis walks into a bar..

Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

Why was the dog barking... Because billy fell down the well

whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

your life

What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

Christianity

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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