How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why shouldn't you drink and drive? Because you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mother is such a whore that she engages regularly in acts of consensual but unprotected sex with various gentlemen.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the mexican cross the road? Becuase his other one was stolen by a Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

facebook is like a refrigerator. you eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the little and energetic girl fall down? Because I snapped her neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are grey, Violets are black, I have Alzheimer's, Barthtub.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

steven hawking walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +7

three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why does Justin Beiber look like a girl? Because he achieved international fame and fortune at a prepubescent age, and has made more money before he turned 18 than most people will in their entire lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q2: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2: It was nailed to the first one. Q3: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3: Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's Black/White and red all over? Obama when he gets a little flustered.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your adopted.....

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What does a Jedi say when another Jedi farts? A: Who sabered the cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops