Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

What did a lot of money say? I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS!!!!!

Your mom as so fat that I'm gonna give you the name of this doctor because I really care for you...... And don't want to see you so stressed because she is so fat.

A blonde walks into a drycleaning store 2 pick up her clothes and as she walks out the empoyee says cum again and the blonde says shut up it was toothpast this time!!!!

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...................... Wats so funny?

whats funnier than 24? 25

Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

whats the difference between ur mom and my mom? nothing i slept with both of them

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

What happened to the blind boy? He went deaf.. helen kellered....

What's the difference between a black guy and a bench. A bench is wooden while a black guy has a human body composed of mostly water.

Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

koj yog ib tug tsoob qaib eater, uas nyiam mus rau Peer li qub poj niam qhov chaw mos raws li ib tug nyiam ua! (Google Translate may help)

A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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