Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Guess what my Mom and Dad did last Night on the Kitchen Table.... A: Had Dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

wat is the name of a girl u can play connect the dots on her face laurie pisciotta

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many Jew can you fit in a car? As many as the car seats comfortably.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

My grandpa died in the Holocaust He fell from the guard tower

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between and Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout returned from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

3 blind mice walk into a bar. they have no idea of their surroundings and are quickly crushed to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did batman say to robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops