How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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William wright is Gay

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Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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How do you get a priest out of a tree? Throw a canoe at him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i suck at poems nice titz

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What did the squirrel say to the other squirrel? Squirrels can't talk.

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How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

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What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

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Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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willie revilame

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why was the man upset? His entire family was murdered, skinned, separated into assorted body parts, and stapled to trees.

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Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

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Why do black people have white hands and feet? Regardless of race or ethnicity, the skin on the palms and soles of the feet is always less pigmented than elsewhere on the body. In darker skinned people this fact is readily observable, but in light skinned people this feature of human biology cannot normally be discerned by simple visual inspection.

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How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? Because her asshole brother pushed her :)

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops