Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Why did he? NO I LOST THE CHICKEN Later: Knock knock Who's there The chicken

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"Aids" "What?" "Yup, you just got aids­­­."

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If you rewind Gozilla, it's about a giant lizard that helps rebuild a burnig city, and then goes back into the ocean again...

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You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkly? Because if they were small, round, and white, they would be called 'asprin'.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

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Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

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knock knock who's there? Orange Oranges cant talk, so seriously, who's there Your mother Ha ha real funny -mother opens door with her key-

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Why can't the toucann fly anymore? Because they're extinct

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

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Vaginal secretions

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Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

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What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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What do you call a Muslim that walks onto a plane? A passenger

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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Whats the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops