Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No, but considering there has not been a single man to walk on the moon since 1972, it'd be difficult to generate any kind of revenue on this natural satellite.

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Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

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knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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What's the difference between men and coca-cola? I don't like coca-cola

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Row, row, row your... Canoe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled ice cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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What did the man say when his wife said hello? Hello.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops