Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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Why won't the carny let the black kid on the carnival ride? He doesn't meet the height requirements

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

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What happened to the kid who couldn't swim? He drowned.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

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what gets louder as it gets smaller? a baby in a trash compacter.

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Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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obama

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MAKE TEA NOT WAR!

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How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

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A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

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A man walks into a bar,gets a drink, and then leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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