What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What's black, white and red and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a spear through her head

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? I throw a refrigerator at him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black So is my neighbor

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Whats the same about Jerry Seinfeld and Adam Sandler They are both comedians

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When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Why couldn't the blonde turn on the TV? The TV was broken.

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What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did not realize it was a man-made distinction for constructed transportation vehicles and had a coincidental tendency to walk toward the area on the other side to find food or avoid birds flying over.

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

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What's worse than a baby in a trash can The holocaust

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Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

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You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

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What is white and black and red all over.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get KFC... Because hes a canibal!

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops