Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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I was chatting to a woman in a bar, when the subject of kids came up. I said, "My son has had to wear nappies for his entire life." "That's awful," she said, "what's wrong with him?" I replied, "Nothing. He's two and a half."

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One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you...

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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This is like another one: Terry is at work eating a cookie.. He drops his cookie. His co worker trys to pick it up, however he accidently stands on it. Turns out terry can keep a grudge, nine years later, he killed his co worker with a shovel.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

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What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

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HOW MANY CRACK-HEADS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE, THERE AIN'T NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CRACKHOUSE!!!

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Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

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Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

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try this on someone: Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock Who's There? Knock Knock They will keep asking who's there while you laugh

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Why Is Helen Keller such a bad driver? Because she is a woman

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What do you call a black guy robbing a store ? A theif

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why was the blonde fired from the factory? she ate the maneger's fingers.

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what sad about 4 mexican dieing in a car crash??? My car

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

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Why do black guys have white palms? Because that area of the human hand contains no melanocytes, the cells that allow pigment to form.

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a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

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A kid walked into a bar and ordered a drink and then was arrested for drinking under the age of 18

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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Dead on Aodhan your breaking te ten commandments by lying you jew you dont believe in the divinity of Christ.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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