A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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why did radio not get the song? beacause he radio didnt work.

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why was the the taxi cab driver having a bad day? because he wasnt making very much money, didnt get alot of customers, some of which were extremely rude, and his entire family just died.

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what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

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What is big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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Q.whats the weirdest thing??????? A.woman leaders

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What's better than being raped by a donkey? Pie.

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How are cars made? By magic.

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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Whats the different betweene a drugdealer and a cop? I dont know but i think they dont have the same wife.

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so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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Whats worse then this joke? Its punchline.

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because six is a numerophobe.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because his older brother was forcing him to pee on an electrical socket.

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What did batman say to robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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