What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

What's black and hanging from the tree in my backyard? My black, tree-hugging friend.

Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

A plane is going to land at 3:30, if the monkey is holding a gun how does the bus driver commite suicide 12, because the laywer attacked the dyslexic man.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FRUITS

How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

Why did the priest blow a kiss and waved to the little girl? She was his daughter. Why did the daughter's mother call the cops on the priest? Child support

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

Why couldn't the man see the camoflague iguana He could.

How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

What did Batman say to Superman? Nothing, he killed him with a kryptonite spear.

"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

Knock knock Who's there The military, your son died last night.

I saw a guy walking down the street like a black person. I just shook my head and smiled. He WAS black.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

yo mamas so fat she probably has to wear a gerdle when she leaves the house.

I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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