A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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What's the difference between a murdered baby and a dead baby? Not much

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

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What is a man? A misserable little pile of shi... Moral: What is a man?

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Do you like fish-sticks? Love 'em. You like putting fish-sticks in your mouth? Yeah. What are you, a gay fish?

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

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What would happen if you put a marshmellow in a tractor Because 7, 8, 9

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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Q. How do you get a dinosaur off a slide? A. You tell him he hasn't lived for billions of years.

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are you gay does your mom know

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Nature is filled with wondrous things. No really, this isn't a joke.

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What do you call a black man with a club? Tiger woods.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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Your sister's feet smell so bad people encourage her to go home and wash them.

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1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Well you can't drive planes

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What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

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Mum: Black or white iPod? Her Son: Black Please, it'll run faster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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