Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Alright then, call me sometime then.

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Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

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Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

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Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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Rishi has popcorn while wass n jess r making jokes on anti jokes

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange Who? Oranges are very good for you and enriched with vitamin C that is apparently good to intake when you are experiencing cold/flu like symptoms during the winter season and your doctor won't give you medication because you aren't sick enough and you already ask for medication to much because you think you are always sick with something. That's what happens when you're a hypochondriac.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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2 men walk into a bar. 3 come out

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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What do you call a mulsim that tattles on you for vandilising muslim propaganda Target Practice

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A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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There is a black man and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving? The driver.

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A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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