whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

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Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? Throw an axe at it's face.

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A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

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Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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whats long and stretchy? elastic

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"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

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how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

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How do you kill a blonde? You wait until she dies of old age, then copyright her death.

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What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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A woman walks into a bar.

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What's better than winning $5000 a week for life?! Winning any larger sum of money a week for life, and sex.

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How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

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Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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