How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Probably 5

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

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What do you call it when a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Vicar meet for a drink at the bar? A social gathering.

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Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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When geese fly in the "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

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Whats fuzzy and pink? A pink fuzz ball

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why didn't santa deliver any presents this christmas? Because he isn't real

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? "THE chicken" indicates a definite article, you really would have to specify which chicken you're talking about so i can identify whether i was there at the given moment that the chicken tried to cross the road and to ask it his reason for attempting it.

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Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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What is Ciaran Wilkie Gay

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

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What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops