A mushroom walks into a bard and the bartender admonishes him and tells him to leave. The mushroom says "Aw, c'mon...you stupid jerk!"

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What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a slice of tomato A really bad joke

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

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The Christian Bible.

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What is worse than the holocaust? World War III.

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This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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Eh yo Sean u mr. Kingston Hey, how are you doing?

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What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

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what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

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what happen to covietz when he licked his balls? nothing he likes the taste

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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How are JFK and Jimmy Neutron similar? They both had brain blasts.

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Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

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AIDS

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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