How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

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Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

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Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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I had a really funny joke about a dead baby...but I threw it out

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

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Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

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"I see," said the blind man to the deaf man.

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Whats better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics????? NOT BEING RETARDED!!!!!!!

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

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what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

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What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Why did Harry Potter cast a spell on Chuck Norris' penis? Never mind.

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. Our fast paced American society holds little value for birds of any species and this particular chicken was flattened by Ford F-150.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops