Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You are the most beautiful person in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is random Microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats funny about black people getting shot by whites We can steal our bikes back now

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the black man go to church? Because his father died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

s o m a a d i t u n y s n i t a c s d c ' s k h k s t o e l y e

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q:What do you say to an albino man that will always get his attention? A:His name.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A: because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats the difference between a mexican and a fish? one is a human being while the other is a fish, what did you expect?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A dyslexic blind man

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead baby joke? Dead baby jokes aren't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the toaster say to the raisin? Nothing. The toaster was mute and the raisin had lost his hearing in a terrible full-contact origami accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops