why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

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People just dont care about me, yesterday I got a coconut in my head and... AWWWW thats horrible! Yeah I... So did the coconut make it?

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Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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A black guy gets a job...

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

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Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? To connect with their loved ones, meet any new additions and share old family stories.

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#Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Catherine of Aragon was one. # She failed to give him a son #He had to ask her for a divorce. #That broke her poor heart of course. #Young Anne Boleyn, she was two #Had a daughter, the best she could do #He said she flirted with some other man #And off with the chop, went dear Anne! #Lovely Jane Seymour was three! #The love of his lifetime indeed! #She gave him a son #Little Price Ed #Then poor old Jane...went and dropped dead! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! #He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Anne of Cleeves came at four #He fell for the portrait he saw! #But laid eyes on her face, and cried #SHE'S A HORSE! I MUST HAVE ANOTHER DIVORCE! #Catherine Howard was five #A child of nineteen, so alive #She flirted with others, no way to behave #The AXE sent young Cath to her grave! #Catherine Parr, she was last #By then all his best days were past #He lay on his death bed, aged just fifty-five! #Lucky Catherine- the last stayed alive! #I mean, how unfair! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #You could say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! And the moral of the story is: Never buy a car without knowing it's background.

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why am i a dick head. because my gcse's spelt fudge and i dont like fudge so i project my anger into boss things

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pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

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What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

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doctor , doctor , i feel depressed , we will start you on a course of anti-depressents , vitimins , and daily exercise, make a appointment for next week , and i will referrer you to a phycatrist

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knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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What do you call a pig and a ball when u come across both of them? A ball hog!

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

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What is the saddest thing in a porno? He doesn't really love her.

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Whats worse than having sex with your hot cousin? Not having sex with your hot cousin...

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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