Knock Knock Who's There AT&T Guy Mom it's for you

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Why did the young boy drop his ice cream? Subscribe to find out; starting at only $14.99 a month! For more jokes similar to this one, subscribe to "Horrible Jokes" for $95 a month! Subscription Plans: - $14.99: Answer one joke per month - $49.99: The above plan... PLUS a free copy of "Antijoke, the book" - $99.99: A free cookie - $1099.99: A free cookie and a pass to the dark side - $0.25: Eternal happiness Order now for best prices! Or else we'll burn down your house and kill your extended family! Thank you!

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

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so dont touch it.

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Whats 10 times worse than a war? Ten wars.

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Q. Knock knock A. Who's there Q. DEEZ A. DEEZ who A. DEEZ NUTZ HA GOT EEEEEM

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs. A pharmisict.

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Q.What do you call a black man flying a plane? A. A black pilot you racist bastard

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Why is the duck? Because it has two feet the same.

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what do you get if you eat cream cake, coffee cake, strawberry cake, chocolate cake, fruit cake, and sponge cake? a very large stomach-cake.

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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