Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

Q: What did Robin Williams say to the young boy? A: Nothing, He is dead

What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

Why did the chicken cross the road? 42

What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

Why wasn't the black guy allowed into the bar? Because the bar was closed.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Where do you find a vegetable? Where you left him

A man walks into a bar and starts telling anti-jokes to his friend. His friend is a follower and laughs even though they aren't funny.

Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

You know what they say... Big feet Lawn-mower

My kids are mistakes.

yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

Get in the car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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