A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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what happens every day? People die

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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Knock knock Who's there . I said who's there. Sadly this poor man didn't understand he had just been door bell ditched.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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Who's there? Knock Knock.

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why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

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Did you hear about the 2 pretzels walking down the street? It's not true, pretzels are not capable of autonomous movement.

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat of, and the barman chuckles.

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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What do you get when you mix carbonated water, caramel color, aspartame, phosporic acid, potassium benzoate, caffeine, citric acid, and natural flavor? Diet Pepsi

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs. It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come.

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Most of these Anti-Jokes are Anti-Anti jokes, which makes them funny, if they were actually Anti-Jokes they wouldn't be funny at all.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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