Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Men's Rights

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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i like cats

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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