Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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Yes.

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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