whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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America

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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