Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

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who has brown eyes blonde hair and red lips a human-being

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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