A Sloth runs...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Water? I hardly know her.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A cannibal went for a walk and he passed his brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mom is so fat, she got obese and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They were baked until the baker them until they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. He values his privacy and will not tell me his motives.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I pooped.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock, Who's there? Billy. Billy who? Billy your next door neighbor, I need to borrow some sugar. Ok, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops