Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Whats Black White and Red all over? oh, wait. what time were we supposed to meet that landlord?

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What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

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Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

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Ever heard of the dumb blonde joke? You probably wouldn't get it.

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What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

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What's tan, red, black and brown? Your face. Two days later... In the mausoleum. "Your face"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (a police officer steps in and says): What is red and green and peed all over? I dont know Im sorry to say, but its your mother. A group of teens killed her and defiled her body with urine. She was wearing green.

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go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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Justin Beiber

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

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Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

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What are the two biggest jokes in College Football? Auburn and Florida! Roll Tide!

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What do you call it when you mix a raccoon with an 18-wheeler? A bloody mess on the highway. That smells like cheese

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Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

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The last time Jesse saw his **** was the day..........oh wait it's never happened

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How did the polar bear get the bottle of coke? He killed the little boy

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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like a someboyyyyyyyyyyyy

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I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

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i lost the game

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? Because if he's an actual historical figure he would have been born in modern day Palestine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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