A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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What do you call a man in a wheel chair? Stephen Hawking

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

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what did the jew say when the arab threw rocks at him? He didnt, the israeli air force proceeded to fire white phosphorous missiles and annihalated many small children and babies in the process, the aftermath is still around today.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I slipped you some roofies You'll be out in a few

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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you know what is so funny?! jokes..................................

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Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

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Potassium? K.

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How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

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how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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why did the black guy get testicular cancer? because he put his balls in the microwave.

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"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

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Luckily Captain America was able to rescue Hitler just before he was trapped in the ice for many years... Thanks to his brave efforts the war continued many more years! Captain America under ice: Why do I get the feeling I did something wrong? Hmm... 30 years later Cap: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNN!!!!!! Moral: On ice, tickets sold out... no clothing required, ladies only, None under 16!

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Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

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What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

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Women.

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An Irish man walked into a bar. He turned to the bartender and said hello. Then walked to the back booth for his lunch meeting with the heads of his highly profitable company and then went home.

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Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

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An asian man and his friend walk into a bar. They both order a few drinks and drink them responsibly. They then pay for their drinks, and drive home to their loving families.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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