Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Why did the cat throw up on the couch? because it was nauseous!

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? WHO CARES!!

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What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your neighbor. I just ran over your cat.

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What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

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why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

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What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

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Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

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Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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a dyslexic man came on this website thinking it was made by his aunt Tina keoj he was sadly mistaken. it was just a bunch of jokes about dyslexic men going into bars

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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want a balloon? yeah

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

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A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops