- Anti Joke

What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

How do you kill a cancer patient? Throw a fridge at him.

Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

Whats yellow and gives you cancer? The sun

why did mad is on home s walk becuaes a isnt a number

What's black and hangs from tree's? A suicidal black man.

knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

Why did the child cry? It was beat up and thrown in a trashcan.

What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

What is 8===D- ? A jew with a lip piercing.

What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy? You're skinny

Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

Why did i write this joke? Because i'm a try hard.

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops