A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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What did the fat man do when someone told him he was fat? He kept eating, for he was deaf.

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What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

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Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

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why did the iraqi woman bury her wedding ring in the ground? because it's the only way she could properly pay respect to the death of her husband who recently died in a group suicide bombing.

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What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

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Whats funny about the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Q: Why do black people drink Grape Soda? A: Because it queches their thirst, and satisfies them.

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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bees knees

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whats two naked people in a bed? too much information

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

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Every human being has some kind of penis <3

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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A man runs into a house and unloads a round of bullets killing 2 people in the kitchen. He wins Search and Destroy for his team at Nuketown.

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What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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What would you get if you crosses a potato and a frog? Nothing because potatoes cannot breed with animals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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