Why did Bob Marley Shoot the Sheriff? Because he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the boy with no arms get in his Christmas card? We don't know, he's yet to open it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Abortion

thumb_up thumb_down -10

My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q.If your have $6.00 and I have a hair cut, how many donkeys are in the paddock? A. Aliens with a hat????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 1027

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than a Wasp at a picnic? Two wasps at a picnic. What's worse than two wasps at a picnic? A serial rapist. What's worse that a serial rapist? Three wasps at a picnic.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A nugget

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's five times 10? Sixty, you retarded fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whu did the boy drop his cheeseburger? Because the school janitor whacked him with a mallet.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops