Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

knock, knock whos there the police your son was the victim of a cruel homocide

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A woman walks into a cave, and the entrance collapses. She spends two days in the cave. She comes close to death, due to lack of nutrition, but is thankfully rescued by a dog walker. She spends several days in hospital recovering. The experience really opens her eyes to life, and she learns not to take her loved ones for granted, and to really make the most of her life. Finally she is allowed to go home. The next day, she is hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the little girl sad? Because she was brutally raped up the ass

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

69

thumb_up thumb_down +24

shut up kobe!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's big and messy? A big mess

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whay is jerry so bad at parallel parking? He just got a sex change yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down +24

your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you wh*re

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops