what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

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Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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dick dick dick... frogs

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

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What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Still the Holocaust

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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What's funnier then the holocaust? A second one.

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How did the Jewish husband and stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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Why were the Jews stuck in Germany? Because Joseph Rosenstein and his Jewish family missed their train out of Frankfurt to go to Paris, and so they had to stay another night in their hotel.

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Loperson

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know but some black man is starting up his deep-frier on the other side

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops