What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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so david walks into a convenience store and wanted to buy a pack of gum. so he asks the cashier how much is the gum and the cashier said that it is 99 cents and then david said oh no! i thought it was 98 cents.

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Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

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Knock, Knock Who's There A dyslexic kid with aides

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Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

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A horse walks into a bar. It trips over a barstool, breaks it's leg, and is butchered and turned into canned dog food.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

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I thought it was the WHITE house. C'mon Obama. C'mon

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Why did the boy eat the apple. He really likes apples.

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Your face

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What do you call a midget cripple with cerebral palsy? Unfortunate

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

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Why did the girl cry when her boyfriend brought up the topic about rape? Because she was raped by her father as a child and it was a suppressed memory.

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Y' can't spell rape without ape.

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

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What do you call a bird with a broken wing? A bird with a broken wing.

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Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick basterd !

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What do fish and dogs have in common they are both animals

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Person 1: Why don't you want to date me? Person 2: Because you are ugly Person 1: Why am I ugly? Person 2: Because you have bad features. Person 1: Why do i have bad features? Person 2: It's your genetics. Person 1: Why is it my genetics Person 2: Cuz that's the way god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: Because god's god made you Person 1: Why Person 2: Because the god of god of god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: That's the way the god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of (GOES ON FOREVER!!!) made you.

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what did the cerial killer get for christmas an electric chair

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When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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