What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

Knock Knock Come in! :)

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

whats the diffrence 2 gay people and 1 gay person? A 1 person diffrence

You idiot thats 9 letters

Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" The horse never replied.

Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

Why did the guy lie down? He was dead.

Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

A person who doesn't know hungarian is trying to read the next sentence. Sajnos nem érti, mivel nem tud magyarul.

I was just entering the toilet in a transport cafe just as a lorry driver was coming out. "I wouldn't go in there mate if I was you" he said "Why does it smell?" I enquired "No I've just murdered a prostitute"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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