Roses are red vielots are blue but they aren't as sweet as you.Can you be my Valentine ny choclate cupcake will you me my choclate

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What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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why was the the taxi cab driver having a bad day? because he wasnt making very much money, didnt get alot of customers, some of which were extremely rude, and his entire family just died.

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What do you call a blue colored dog with seven legs, that oinks? not a dog...

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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Q:Whats Brown and sticky? A:Maple Syrup

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Invention I totally meant invention! XD, now okay, you can have the top comment, ill even read it because I like ya a lot.

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An English Grammar Expert writes a very intelligent essay.

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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What do you call a black man that steal from your shop? A thief

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Q:Why did the boy have no friends A: because Ants are not considered friends

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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What's the answer to all your problems The answer

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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why didn't the bully beat up the nerds? His mom got arrested for molestation and his dad got sent to Afganistan so he was too depressed to beat them up.

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A blond and a brunette are on the moon. The brunette says to the blond "I'm glad that independent company's are taking the job of American space travel."

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What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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