A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

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That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

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I ENJOY MASTURBATING

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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knock, knock! who`s there? it`s me ! who me? yes!

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Whats worst than the world ending? Charlie Sheen Not Winning

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

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Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

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Your mom is so fat that she is at risk for type two diabetes.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing - because she had no arms Knock Knock Who is it Not Susie

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Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

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Your mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops